Quarter Life Crisis

Throughout life there are always milestones that you dream of achieving. 25 is one of those markers that you judge your life's worth by, plan your hopes and dreams by, and freak out about all of our expectations once you hit 24 and you haven't reached them. When I as 5 I would always say that I would be married with kids by 25. When I was 16 I said that I would just be married by 25 and building a great career. The night before I graduated college, I had sleep over with all of my best friends, and we all talked about where we would be by 25. My goals were to be engaged, to live on my own, to find a career that I loved in a declining economy, and to move out of my comfort zone as much as possible.





When I hit 24 I realized, I'm nowhere near achieving my goals. The quarter life crisis had begun to sink in! Over the course of my 24th year, my carer began to pick up, I moved out, and things began to come into place. Crisis averted, but it was an amazing year of reflection, growth, patience, and strength. I realized that hanging on to childhood dreams can be very detrimental to a better path for your adult life. I viewed the world at 5 through my parents and Disney movies, and I must view the world now knowing the abundance of opportunities and pathways ahead of me. Despite some of the devastating things that I have been through in my path to get to the person I am today, I would not change anything, because I truly believe that every single piece of my story has a part in everything that I am. I've learned to embrace the good, the bad, and the tragic. I'm truly happy to say that I am not the same person at 25 that I was at 5. I am happy that I am not the person I thought I would be at 25. I am most happy that I have learned to move beyond my dreams and enjoy my reality, because I never could have imagined the things that I have done and seen to date.

Crying Wolf on Racism

Why is everyone so quick to claim racism!  I haven't had the time to blog in a while, but this just made me upset enough to write for a few minutes.  I saw this ad today while browsing through one of my favorite sites Clutch Magazine Online. Clutch pointed out that:

Advertising blog, Copyranter, first posted the ad under the title, “Dove body wash turns Black Women into Latino Women into White Women.” Not long after, The Huffington Post and Jezebel both picked up on the “unintentionally(?) racist” ad, with Jezebel adding: “Bye-bye black skin, hello white skin! (Scrub hard!)”

These statements might make sense of the skin color on the "before" swatch were of a darker skin tone.  When we scream racism for every little thing, we desensitize people to the word.  We really need to take more care in our word choice. Yes, I think race is a real problem in America and around the world. No, I do not think that this ad is inappropriate in any way. The END!

Keep Japan in your prayers...

I got this message from a childhood friend the other day.  As an employee of a 24 hour news organization, I have been following the story in Japan closely, but it never occurred to me that I might know someone who was directly effected by this disaster.  As soon as I saw her name in my email, I immediately froze, but I thought her words and reassurance should be shared with others.

 

On Friday, I realized how life is unpredictable, and how every word and action could be your last. It has almost been 2 days since the first big earthquake struck, and I am finally at home with my family (I stayed put in my apartment for the first day). I decided to write this email, not only to report the situation and ask for help, but also to let you all know how grateful I am that I got to know you guys somewhere along the line. It's at times like these that you think of how many wonderful people you know, but how you never really verbalize your appreciation for them (and how terrible you are at keeping in touch).

 

First and foremost, my family, my friends, their families and myself are all fine. I realize how lucky I am when I watch the news to see so many people without homes and the rising death toll. Japan (up north) still needs a lot of assistance, and I hope that all of us can help out in our own ways; thank you to all that already have. We are also living in fear of the status of the nuclear power plants and the multiple after shocks (they are predicting a failry large one within the next week), and it's all very scary, but hopefully it will all end soon...Tokyo has minimal damage considering how big the earthquake was.

 

I was in the middle of Tokyo at my client's office when it all happened. The first thing I did was talk to my friend on my work chat about the earthquake. Kind of like, "ugh, it's another earthquake", because we had been having multiple over the past few weeks. I soon realized that it was not the usual earthquake when my body was being swayed back and forth / up and down. I quickly ducked under the desk and kept on hoping the building wouldn't collapse (it's amazing how Japanese infrastructure is so well-built). Japanese people are amazing when it comes to situations like these; the whole office was calm, directed people to keep doors open, stay away from windows, and take cover.

 

After the first earthquake dwindled down, I immediately sent a message out to friends online who I knew had family in Japan. I talked to a few of them until the next earthquake struck and I had to duck under the desk again. We were handed helmets to wear (there were already cracks in the walls and ceilings). I tried calling family but the phones wouldn't work, and it was soon evident that the internet was the only form of communication that was available. My brother was online so I spoke to him and found out my dad was okay. I miraculously got through to my mom on the phone and was able to confirm her safety.

 

We were told to stay in the building for a while, so we stayed there for an hour or so. Multiple after shocks later, I decided I wanted to go home, so I walked down 12 flights of stairs and left the building. There were hundreds of people outside - cabs were already taken (they weren't moving anyway) and the trains and subways had stopped. There were thousands of people walking in different directions, and I decided that I would walk home too. It was like a mass exodus. It took me 3 hours, but I got home safely. All in all, I was very lucky. I had electricity, I still had running water, I was able to go home on the day to find an apartment with almost no damage. Other people weren't as fortunate.

 

I'm still having a hard time dealing with the situation, and I can't stop watching the news. I have not slept properly for days, and have mixed emotions that I don't know how to handle... For those of you abroad with families in Japan, I am sure that it is very hard for you not knowing exactly what is happening and not being with your family. Everything is fine. For all of you out there: please keep Japan in your prayers. We need as much help as possible - no matter how small. Though we may be a technologically advanced, highly developed country, this is more than we can handle on our own.

 I hope that everyone can take time time to pray or keep the people of Japan in their thoughts.

Click here for updates regarding the earthquake.

Heritage vs Hate

I must admit that the sight of the Confederate Flag signals danger to my mind. I vividly remember a softball trip to Hilton Head SC. Upon our arrival on the bus there was a local parade where many of the participants were proudly waving Confederate Flags which shook the few Black people on the bus. As our team mates looked in awe at the fact that people would openly wave such flags, I took a moment to look around and noticed that every Black person that was there seemed to hunch down in their seats a bit as if to go unnoticed by what could have been a dangerous situation. To this day, I have no idea what kind of parade that was in Hilton Head, but I will never forget that moment for the rest of my life. If at this point in our American History that flag can shake an immense level of fear in my heart, I can only imagine the level of fear it struck for my ancestors.

There has been controversy recently over the fact that Kid Rock the Detriot NAACP has chosen to honor Kid Rock. Kid rock is known to proudly wave a Confederate Flag around at his shows. He is also known to be a proud supporter of equality, and has done a lot to build bridges between people who may not otherwise have come together. While I do not believe that Kid Rock is in any way racist, it is difficult for me to set aside my personal feelings with the Confederate Flag with his personal sentiments about the flag. I appreciate the work that he does to honor many African-Americans, and I accept the fact that we live in a country where he has the right to wave that Flag and hold different attachment to it than I do.

American history is extremely complex. History seen through the eyes of different people reflects very different stories, and I believe all of those stories are relevant. There are many people black, white, and otherwise who do not associate the Confederate flag with racism. There is a distinct and unique history that the South holds that is immensely diverse and different than that of the North that should be acknowledge, recorded, and celebrated. Not everything that has come from the South should be associated with racism. Although I do not understand the need to celebrate this history with a flag that was used to strike fear and represent hate, I have also accepted the fact that I am not capable of understanding everything and everyone.

What I do understand is that an organization that has been at the forefront of civil rights has chosen to acknowledge someone who bears the very symbol that they had been fighting for years. I understand the hurt, I understand the dilemma, I understand the pain, but I do not think that what Kid Rock stands for should be overlooked. There are plenty of things that we could say about past nominees that do not coincide with what the organization stands for that I believe should be amended. I hope that we all pay attention to those who do not live their lives as proper examples as much as we have chosen to pay attention to Kid Rock.  It is cliche to say that nothing in life is Black and White, but it holds so much truth. Sometimes we have to take the time to accept that part of heritage is hate.

Hear his feelings about the flag around the 1:00 min mark



Kid Rock from Joe Keenan on Vimeo.

History Repeating

A few days ago I sent out this tweet:



Many would consider me a passionate person, but I have always considered myself a person who lacked enough passion to immerse myself blindly in any activity. As I watch and read about the events unfold in Cairo, the imagery is very reminiscent of that of our own Civil Rights movement. As much as I am denied my rights because of the color of my skin in America, my freedoms are much greater than a lot of people all over the world. Thinking of both movements pains me in various different ways. It pains me that there are billions of people in this world who would die for the rights that I have. It pains me that there are not enough Americans of all races that have a small percentage of the heart that the people in Cairo have. It pains me that many Americans dismiss what is happening in Cairo because we have "problems" in America. And, it pains to feel somewhat helplessly observant.

Today, you hear many Black Americans say that the movement has come to a standstill because we do not have dynamic Black Leaders to start a movement. I would say that we need to be inspired by the action of the people in Egypt that individuals can make a difference. As individuals come together, they create a force. Our own history shows us us that with the right media attention, it is hard to turn a shoulder on those living without basic civil liberties. For me Black History month is not just about Black History, but about our civil liberties and interactions as Americans.

Alice Walker wrote:

For in the end, freedom is a personal and lonely battle; and one faces down fears of today so that those of tomorrow might be engaged.

I owe my ancestors who fought for my rights as well as myself to remain knowledgeable. I hope that everyone takes an opportunity to educate themselves on something outside of the Black History Month basics and continue past the surface.

BET vs OWN

Yesterday, AOL Blackvoices tweeted our the headline "BET Founder Shelia Johnson Says OWN Network Lacks Diversity." The first thought that crossed my mind was that BET has some nerve criticizing Oprah. (I know that BET did not say this, but this was my first thought) I then thought to myself is it worse to have a network that lacks diversity or perpetuates negative stereotypes. BET has come a long way from the days of Teen Summit, and if I recall correctly Sheila was there during the regime of the transition from television's version of Ebony Magazine to a hypersexualized Black version of MTV. Whether she like the direction of the television Network or not, she was there to watch the demise of something that could have been great for our community. Although BET is not all booty shaking all the time, the older and more educated you get the more difficult it is to sympathize with many of the things that have aired throughout time. One could argue that BET is not doing anything that MTV has not done; but that would be equating Black people and the perceptions involved in Black culture with that of White culture. Unfortunately, our American history does not allow Blacks to be individuals unless they are deemed examples of exception. Negative imagery of Black people is portrayed as examples of all Black people (especially to people who do not have the opportunity to get to know Black people).

As my father and countless other Black parents tell their children, you are not afforded the same privileges because of the color of your skin; therefore, you must be twice as good to get just as far. In terms of Oprah's lineup, I am not a person who believes that only people of color can share stories about people of color. Sometimes diversity is best spread by people who look similar to the people who need the message most. In college, I took a lot of diversity courses where students did not take the time to listen to the ideas of the professors of color, but when Tim Wise (a White person who speaks about White privilege) came to class and told them of their White privilege everything seemed to click. His presence for one night, made a bigger difference than months of discussion and seminars had done in 3 years. I will reserve my opinion on Oprah's choices until I have time to see more content.

Check out Oprah's OWN Website here.

N is for - Slave

To be honest, I do not remember all of the details of Huckleberry Finn; but whenever the title comes to mind, I think to myself "I like that book." There has been great controversy in schools about the use of a book like Huck Finn which includes the word nigger hundreds of times, but I do not quite understand the controversy. Yes, nigger is not a politically correct word. Why? Because it was used for hundreds of years as a demeaning word for Blacks during slavery and it is still used today. But, never fear! New South Books has come up with the perfect solution: change the word nigger to slave. Completely re-write history, and the problem is solved. Huck Finn is now A ok for the classroom.

First off the world slave and nigger are not interchangeable words. Both of these words have their own distinct history. The fact that someone that of this "solution" is a slap in the face to our American history. No our history is not always great despite what you might read in your glossed up history books, and changing Huck Finn is another form of removing discrimination and hatred from our history. The problem with changing history is that it creates a false understanding of the present. Imagine a generation of children who do not understand the complexities of the word nigger. At this moment of time, I have plenty of intelligent associates who know the history of the word and think that race is not an issue. I can only imagine how bad tolerance and understanding will become if we continue to erase the foundations of our past.

For me, the bigger issue with using books with this type of language in the text is the classroom behavior. This is largely dependent upon the teacher who is guiding the conversation for the students. When I was younger our teacher prefaced the book with the history of the word nigger, and we had a conversation about classroom etiquette. No student, regardless of race, was allowed to use the N word while reading the book out of respect for the classroom and our peers. We all survived, and we all learned a lesson. Protecting your children from the truth will not make them better people. Hiding this truth only leads to ignorance, misunderstanding, and disrespect.